When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup.
Take steps to help prevent normal holiday depression from
progressing into chronic depression. Try these tips:
- Acknowledge your feelings.
If a loved one has recently died or you aren't near loved
ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief.
It's OK now and then to take time just to cry or express
your feelings. You don't have to force yourself to be happy
just because it's the holiday season.
- Seek support. If you feel
isolated or down, seek out family members and friends, or
community, religious or social services. They can offer
support and companionship. Consider volunteering at a
community or religious function. Getting involved and
helping others can lift your spirits and broaden your social
circle. Also, enlist support for organizing holiday
gatherings, as well as meal preparation and cleanup. You
don't have to go it alone. Don't be a martyr.
- Be realistic. As families
change and grow, traditions often change as well. Hold on to
those you can, if you want to. But understand that in some
cases that may no longer be possible. Perhaps your entire
extended family can't gather together at your house.
Instead, find new ways to celebrate together from afar, such
as sharing pictures, e-mails or videotapes.
- Set differences aside. Try
to accept family members and friends as they are, even if
they don't live up to your expectations. Set aside
grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion.
With stress and activity levels high, the holidays might not
be conducive to making quality time for relationships. And
be understanding if others get upset or distressed when
something goes awry. Chances are, they're feeling the
effects of holiday stress, too.
- Stick to a budget. Before
you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to
spend on gifts and other items. Then be sure to stick to
your budget. If you don't, you could feel anxious and tense
for months afterward as you struggle to pay the bills. Don't
try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Donate to a
charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a
family gift exchange.
- Plan ahead. Set aside
specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and
other activities. Plan your menus and then make one big
food-shopping trip. That'll help prevent a last-minute
scramble to buy forgotten ingredients — and you'll have time
to make another pie if the first one's a flop. Allow extra
time for travel so that delays won't worsen your stress.
- Learn to say no. Believe it
or not, people will understand if you can't do certain
projects or activities. If you say yes only to what you
really want to do, you'll avoid feeling resentful and
overwhelmed. If it's really not possible to say no to
something — your boss asks you to work overtime — try to
remove something from your agenda to make up for the lost
time.
- Don't abandon healthy habits.
Don't let the holidays become a dietary free-for-all. Some
indulgence is OK, but overindulgence may add to your stress
and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so
that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
Continue to get plenty of sleep and schedule time for
physical activity.
- Take a breather. While you
may not have time every day for a silent night, make some
time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without
distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything
you need to do. Steal away to a quiet place, even if it's
the bathroom, for a few moments of solitude. Take a walk at
night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something
that clears your mind, slows your breathing and restores
your calm.
- Rethink resolutions.
Resolutions can set you up for failure if they're
unrealistic. Don't resolve to change your whole life to make
up for past excess. Instead, try to return to basic, healthy
lifestyle routines. Set smaller, more specific goals with a
reasonable time frame. Choose resolutions that help you feel
valuable and provide more than only fleeting moments of
happiness.
- Forget about perfection.
Holiday TV specials are filled with happy endings. But in
real life, people don't usually resolve problems within an
hour or two. Something always comes up. You may get stuck
late at the office and miss your daughter's school play,
your sister may dredge up an old argument, you may forget to
put nuts in the cake, and your mother may criticize how you
and your partner are raising the kids. All in the same day.
Expect and accept imperfections.
- Seek professional help if you
need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find
yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by
physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and
hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these
feelings last for several weeks, talk to your doctor or a
mental health professional. You may have depression.
Have it both ways
Remember, one key to minimizing holiday stress and depression
is knowing that the holidays can trigger stress and depression.
Accept that things aren't always going to go as planned. Then
take active steps to manage stress and depression during the
holidays. You may actually enjoy the holidays this year more
than you thought you could. |